ARC Review: Faking Normal by Courtney C. Stevens

Faking Normal by Courtney C. Stevens
Release Date: February 25th 2014
Publisher: HarperCollins Childrens Books
Buy: Amazon | Book Depository

Goodreads Summary

An edgy, realistic, and utterly captivating novel from an exciting new voice in teen fiction.

Alexi Littrell hasn't told anyone what happened to her over the summer. Ashamed and embarrassed, she hides in her closet and compulsively scratches the back of her neck, trying to make the outside hurt more than the inside does.

When Bodee Lennox, the quiet and awkward boy next door, comes to live with the Littrells, Alexi discovers an unlikely friend in "the Kool-Aid Kid," who has secrets of his own. As they lean on each other for support, Alexi gives him the strength to deal with his past, and Bodee helps her find the courage to finally face the truth.

“I’m fresh out of happy”

Aren’t we all? With my philosophical thought of the day out of the way, I can focus more seriously on this review. Which is going to be hard when all I want to do is NOT write this review. Am I allowed to post my incomprehensible notes and call it a day? I am not whining or lazing off, I just have no idea how to write a review for this book.

I don’t know where to start.

Should I start with the highlight of this book or the main character? Or perhaps the one drawback of this book as a whole.

I went into this book with a very vague idea about what I should expect. I hadn’t read any of the reviews and even when this book tempted to read them, I didn’t give in. I marched on and well I think it was for the best since it gave me the opportunity to read without any sort of bias.

This book opened on a very touching note. It opened not with the main character as the centre of attention but someone else who was dealing with the aftermath of a heart wrenching tragedy. The main character who understands what it’s like to lose something, understands pain is the one who walks up to offer comfort to the said person. She doesn’t push him, she doesn’t say anything, she just comforts him with her presence and that’s scene was just touching.

The main character, as you can guess, was raped and this book’s focus is on her healing process. She hides her pain and her misery so as to save her family and friends the pain it would bring them. She blames herself for what happened and she has no outlet for all this pain so she scratches her neck. She hides in the closet and tires to count vents or anything to take her mind off of what happened, anything that will let her get some sort of sleep. Anything. Alexi is not a completely likeable character. Her actions are understandable, you sympathize with her but it’s hard to admire her all the time because she is so afraid. She cannot bring herself to openly admit what happened (she hates using the ‘r’ word to describe her rapist), she sympathizes with her rapist and she refuses to tell anyone. However, unlike some of the other female protagonists I’ve encountered in similar situations, she doesn’t close herself off from family and friends; she is still social to a certain extent. Her story is just heartbreaking. It closes a fist around your heart and makes it hard to breathe because of the amount of sadness rolling off the pages.

Bodee is the highlight of this book. WITHOUT A DOUBT. He is one of the most unique male leads I’ve encountered and I may or may not have fallen in insta-love with him. I don’t know how to say anything about him. I don’t. He is just the most wonderful person ever. He never pushes Alexi but supports her in his own way. He is heartbroken about what happened with his mother yet he still has the ability to stay strong for Alexi. He is not ultra-hot, nor bulging with muscles. He isn’t the Goth kid. He is just the kid no one really cares about and sticks a label on (his was Kool-aid kid) and as you get to know him better, you cannot help but fall head over heels for him.

Captain Lyric also held an important part in Alexi’s healing journey. He remains anonymous for the most part but his identity wasn’t a secret to me. It was blaringly obvious and I don’t think I’ve ever been happier about being right. I loved his reasons for doing what he did because without him Alexi would be lost. She wouldn’t have survived. She needed something to look forward to and he gave her that and I just love his role in her journey.

The romance, as everyone can imagine was sweet and slow to develop and just all around wonderful. I just wish I could hug these two individuals and take their pain away. I love how they were supportive of each other and always gave the other a shoulder to lean on and their journey from acquaintances to friends to something more was beautiful.

The one thing that really nagged on me was the identity of the rapist. I guessed it at one point but it wasn’t because of some subtle hint. It was because of what I know from other rape cases. It was almost random. I felt like the author chose that individual for the emotional impact it would have on the reader and it bothered me. There weren’t enough hints and the attitude of the individual was not consistent in the two halves of the book. I get what she’s trying to do here, she is trying to tell us that a person isn’t always a monster, things aren’t so black and white but in my world, they kind of are. My heart broke for the family and not the individual. The individual was in the wrong and that is that. I don’t really care about whether they are good or bad, when you do what they did, there are no fucking excuses.

In the end though, this book was so emotionally powerful. It was touching. It was heart wrenching. And it was just beautiful.

This is a story about finding yourself; about putting back the pieces after life strikes at you and about healing and I would definitely recommend this to fans of What Happens Next or people just looking for a story that doesn’t completely mess up with such a touchy issue. 

Review: Thirteen Reasons Why By Jay Asher

Title: Thirteen Reasons Why
Author: Jay Asher
Release Date: October 18, 2007
Publisher: Razorbill
Buy: Amazon



Goodreads Summary

You can't stop the future. You can't rewind the past. The only way to learn the secret. . . is to press play. Clay Jensen doesn't want anything to do with the tapes Hannah Baker made. Hannah is dead. Her secrets should be buried with her. Then Hannah's voice tells Clay that his name is on her tapes-- and that he is, in some way, responsible for her death. All through the night, Clay keeps listening. He follows Hannah's recorded words throughout his small town. . . . . .and what he discovers changes his life forever.

 Stop whatever you are doing right now. I don’t care if you are drinking your tea or saving a kitten; stop right now and read what I have to say about this amazing book… Okay everyone apart from those who are saving kittens stop; you guys can read this after you save the little baby.

Oh my freaking lord did I love this book! I don’t know if you’ve noticed but I’ve recently been looking for a book to break my heart and jump around on it while laughing at me and even though I haven’t come across such book after The Fault In Our Stars this little book was kind of near… It didn’t rip my heart out, but it did shoot me with a lot of emotions.

So about the plot- Hannah commits suicide. But not before recoding the reasons for this choice. There are exactly 13 reasons that made her decide this is what she wanted to do. All the reasons link together and Hanna describes that as the “Snowball effect” I love that by the way. It is just so true! One thing starts something off like a rumour or a picture being sent out and every time someone joins in on this and comments or takes it further to hurt the person receiving the hate it creates a little snowball starting on top and going down the hill picking up speed and collecting more snow creating a much bigger snowball. Jay Asher was brilliant by adding this into his novel. You never truly know what you cause some people. Even if you do not mean it to, it can cause the sort of snowball effect for them by people making it worse and gradually it’s something you can’t even stop. “You don’t know what goes on in anyone’s life but your own. And when you mess with one part of a person’s life, you’re not messing with just that part. Unfortunately, you can’t be that precise and selective. When you mess with one part of a person’s life, you’re messing with their entire life.” -page 201. I love this quote! It’s just so true and so sad and so beautiful- If this doesn’t persuade you to read this book I have no idea what will.

Clay who received the shoe box of the cassettes listens patiently blaming himself for not helping Hannah and not realising sooner that she was having a problem and even considering ending her life. It’s so heartbreakingly beautiful! Because even though there were rumours and things being said behind Hannah’s back that may or may not have been true, Clay still had feelings for her. I feel bad for the guy. He did nothing wrong and yet he received a box full of cassettes with a dead girl talking to him telling him exactly how everyone did her wrong and what they all did. Throughout the book, he tortures himself listening to all the stories before him trying to work out exactly how a nice guy like him fits into all this mess. And he genuinely is a nice guy, he actually didn’t do anything wrong to anyone. By the end of the story Clay is so remorseful and feels so guilty that it breaks my heart. If he only knew how to reach out to Hannah and how to help her deal with everything before she took her own life he would have.

The style of the book is done so well that I wanted to weep before even reading the book. You get to read all of Hannah’s reasons and read all of thoughts that rush through Clay’s head as to why this all happened.

The ending. I was shattered by this. There’s Clay walking into school trying to hold himself together after understanding how someone that he spoke to, that he knew, that he kissed took her own life. Now he faced all the people that wronged her, all the reasons why she thought her life was worthless and why she wanted it to stop. When all the hope was, gone Asher sprinkles a spark of hope when Clay gives hope for us by hopefully saving a girl called Skye from going down the same path as Hannah. The ending was such a great way to say goodbye to a book that made me feel so many emotions towards a dead character that it was nice having the thought of her stories helping out a fellow character in need. That her death will not seem like a complete loss and she could even help other.

Okay that was quite depressing. I’m sorry for those that stuck around to read to the rest of the review (because obviously those who have not finished my review are off buying this book) If you want a good fast read and are not too afraid of feeing a lot of raw emotions at once then seriously check this book out. I know I go on and on about how everyone should read all the books, I love but this is something else. 

For those who have read this book- http://www.thirteenreasonswhy.com/tapes.php?video=6ushyNJhnrs

Paradise by Judith McNaught

Title: Paradise
Author: Judith McNaught
Series: Second Opportunities #1
Release Date: July 29th 2003
Publisher: Pocket Books
Buy: Amazon

Goodreads Summary

Meredith Bancroft, a serenley beautiful blonde, and Matthew Farrell, an intense, magnetic tycoon, are both haunted by their once-in-a-lifetime love...betrayed in a conflict of heartache and pain. When the Bancroft family empire is threatened by a hostile takeover attempt, Meredith is forced to turn to Matt. As tensions build between them, leaving them both uncertain, restless...and falling in love again...

I didn't even notice how long this book was, it kind of just flew by. I've had my eye on it for a while so it's a relief to finally read it but I'll say this, I may have expected a tid bid more.

Matt and Meredith are great main characters and one cannot help loving them both but sometimes Meredith pissed me off. She should have given him a chance instead of dragging it out. I mean I understand why she did it, to have to go through what she did at the age of 18, it would make anyone vary yet it doesn't mean it didn't annoy me that she wouldn't give Matt a chance.

Matt is really sweet. I mean I really thought there was no way I'd like him but the author definitely redeems him. The thing that bugged me about him was how he was so set on revenge, I mean yes his pride was hurt but Meredith wasn't nearly as vengeful as he was. He was basically trying to destroy her.. which isn't really nice (yes I realize I sound like a 8 year old). 

The secondary characters... yeah.
Parker... I have no idea why people love him. He has no redeeming qualities. Also if he was in love with Meredith how did he get over her so quickly.

Lisa. I DESPISE HER. She is horrible. I didn't like her when she was 14 and I still don't like her. She is a snob, no she isn't even rich, she comes from a middle class family but she is a snob. I don't understand how she can do that to her friend. It's ridiculous. She is also extremely selfish. I think my hatred for her is probably irrational because no one seems to dislike her as much as I do but I cannot seem to help it.

Meredith's father however was an interesting character. A lot of people despised him but I cannot bring myself to do that. It's obvious that he loves Meredith but the way he expresses this love is really awful. What I see in Phillip is a man who ruined his own life. He ruined his own chance at happiness because of his own fears.

What I would have definitely liked to see more of was Meredith's relationship with Joel. Oh and some more scenes with Caroline. Yes it is obvious that her father is redeemed in the end but I wish that would have been explored because I would have liked to see how that affected things. 

The romance was...I don't actually know. It's weird because there was so much drama that it kind of just overpowered the romance.

This book is not meant for everybody because it can be boring and there can be too much angst but if you're up for it, give it a shot. Mean while I need to read something else.... to cover up for this one. 

Review: Hopeless by Colleen Hoover (THIS IS A RANT)

Title: Hopeless
Author: Colleen Hoover
Date Published: December 19th, 2012

Goodreads Summary

Sometimes discovering the truth can leave you more hopeless than believing the lies…

That’s what seventeen-year-old Sky realizes after she meets Dean Holder. A guy with a reputation that rivals her own and an uncanny ability to invoke feelings in her she’s never had before. He terrifies her and captivates her all in the span of just one encounter, and something about the way he makes her feel sparks buried memories from a past that she wishes could just stay buried.

Sky struggles to keep him at a distance knowing he’s nothing but trouble, but Holder insists on learning everything about her. After finally caving to his unwavering pursuit, Sky soon finds that Holder isn’t at all who he’s been claiming to be. When the secrets he’s been keeping are finally revealed, every single facet of Sky’s life will change forever

(This is more of a rant  so please don't take offense at anything I say. If I sound like I am slut shamming I don't mean to and I apologize)

Wow.

Crap. Shit.

I am an emotional mess right now.

I cannot think coherently.

I. I. I. I.

I DON’T KNOW! GOD this is not cool.

How is this book so good? How is it that this didn’t disappoint me when I expected it to.

Kuddos to Colleen for pulling off writing about such a serious topic. 

That was my initial reaction. Now after having thought about it so much I feel that this doesn’t deserve the four I gave it.

I feel sad right now because the book deceived me into thinking it’s awesome but really it’s about a guy and a girl who want to have sex. It’s about the obstacles they have to overcome to have sex. It’s crazy. I feel so disappointed.

What is this book about really?

Nothing. It’s about a guy and girl trying to work through their own problems. You’d think that it would be entertaining at the least but really, they hardly argue after the beginning so there isn’t much going on. None of the other relationships are looked into further.

Gay best friend. I would have loved to read about their friendship. We got nothing. 

NOTHING.

Her other best friend. She moved and although they stay in touch we still don’t see anything further into their relationship.

Her relationship with her adopted mother.

Nothing there as well.

Perhaps there could be something going on in school.

Nothing. The author barely talks about school.

It’s only near the end something happens and guess what the trigger factor is to that??? 

Them nearly having sex. 

The author couldn’t be more obvious about half of the things. I guessed a lot of them before the author told us anything.

Highly predictable.

Although most people love it, I couldn’t bring myself to love it.

Also the romance has an insta feel to it.

Why is it that out of all the guys she has been with that HOLDER is the one that makes her feel?

Really? *shakes head*

I never get stuff like that.

I liked her character initially. Then she turns into an emotional mess because of the guy. She used to not care about guys. The change in her feelings could have been a gradual process but no. As soon as she sees him she is thinking all kinds of stuff.

Why do authors do this to me?

I wanted a good romance. What do I get? I get insta love.

Yes I get that there may have been a legit reason behind their Instaness but the reason isn’t legit enough for me.

I feel bad because this book has a great rating but for me it sucks. It just shows that ratings hardly matters for a book. I’ve read books with good ratings that I disliked and books with mediocreish ratings that I loved.